One Night, Two Babies

Suggestion Saturday has been suspended today so that I could do a special entry in honor of my Mom's birthday. Since today is Mom Wetzel's birthday, I decided to let her pick the book. It's also time for the "Things I Like About Mom List." I made a list for my Dad's birthday, and I certainly wouldn't want Mom to think that I'm playing favorites.

1. When I was in elementary school she would wake us up for school in the morning by reciting what we could have for breakfast. The options were the same every day and yet there was something so comforting about hearing, "Cheerios. . . Froot Loops. . . Toast. . . Waffles. . . Donuts." Yes that's right, she would let me eat donuts for breakfast because the said they had the same amount of sugar in them as cereal like Froot Loops, so if I'm going to eat the same amount of sugar either way, I might as well eat something good. And then she would stand on the front porch as I was getting onto the school bus and wave like a sitcom Mom from the 50s.

2. She left a note in my lunchbox every day of elementary school, written on a napkin, that would either have a happy face and the words "Have a Happy Day" or a stick person who was crying and above the person she would write "I Miss You." At Christmas time she would draw pictures of Christmas trees and presents with a countdown at the bottom "2 Days Until Christmas Break and 6 Days Until Christmas."

3. She walks around saying things like "If I ever stop wanting things, I want to die because there's no point in even being alive." A casual observer would think the "things" she was referring to were dreams and aspirations. But no, she's talking about material possessions. She keeps a list of things she wants, and loves to recite her list the way I used to walk around the house reciting my Christmas list when I was a child. It's just part of the Mom-ness that is Mom.

4. She's a human gift registry. A person can tell her they like something in March and it will appear under the Christmas tree in December. She also somehow manages to buy those things while the person she's buying them for is still in the room.

5. When I was 11, I desperately wanted to dress up like Laura Ingalls Wilder, but since the costume makers don't seem to understand what a great demand there is for Laura Ingalls Wilder costumes for young children, there were no costumes like that available and so one had to be made. So my Mother, with my Aunt's help, spent several weeks making a costume for me, even though she really, really hates to sew.

Today's book, "Heiress Arielle Garnier was pregnant and the father-to-be was nowhere in sight--until he barged into her office. Zach Forsythe, billionaire resort owner, was the same man she'd had a week-long affair with. How could she trust Zach when he'd lied about his name and left her without a word?He hadn't forgotten the auburn-haired siren who'd given him seven days of bliss. Though finding her again...expecting his twins...was a surprise. As was her refusal of his marriage proposal. It seemed Arielle wanted love with her wedding ring."

Trashy thoughts:

• I let my Mother pick today's book, which naturally means a "Romance" novel since those are the only kind of books she likes to read. She narrowed it down to a stack of books, and then she let me pick from the stack. Naturally, I had to read today's book after seeing the title. How could I turn away from a book with a title as ridiculous as One Night, Two Babies - I just couldn't. And the book turned out to be just as ridiculous as the title. But there is something oddly relaxing about getting to read a book that is mindless, shallow, and devoid of all merit - which makes it the closest thing to a reading break that I will get this year. So I sat down to read, turned off my brain, and enjoyed my reading vacation.

• I spent the day with my Mother and the rest of the family, at Shipshewana. Ahh, there's nothing like reading a trashy romance novel while surrounded by Amish people. Amish country is probably the only place on earth I can go to and be the most scandalous person for miles around, so I decided to just enjoy the irony of the moment.

• It's always amusing to read a romance novel where someone gets pregnant by a one night stand, because the author spends most of the book jumping through hoops in order to try to convince the readers that having a one night stand with someone whose name you don't even know is wholesome, reasonable, and tasteful. So the book was filled with excuses, and desperate justifications that rival those coming from the parent of a really bratty child, but instead of He was just overtired and he didn't eat his breakfast very well, it was more like He was going through a rough time in his life, and she was taken in by his charm and got confused.

• I discovered while reading this book, which was about the fourth or fifth trashy romance novel I've read in my life, that I imagine the characters looking exactly the same way no matter how the book describes the characters. I figure if the author is going to be too lazy to veer from the formula and actually write a new story, then I'm not going to bother to veer from the mental image I use for all of the other trashy romance novels I read.

I would only recommend today's book to people who a) really, really love romance novels or b) really, really enjoy mocking romance novels.

Garden Spells

Dear Readers,
Welcome to the Friday night edition of "Angie Has No Life Because Her Blog is Preventing It," otherwise known as "Angie Is Really Looking Forward to Getting Her Weekends Back When this Project is Done." Not that I am complaining dear readers, because I am back to feeling invigorated about the blogging project. Getting back to reading books that I want to read rather than always thinking in terms of what I should be reading has made blogging fun again!

Today's book, "Two gifted sisters draw on their talents to belatedly forge a bond and find their ways in life in Allen's easygoing debut novel. Thirty-four-year-old Claire Waverley manifests her talent in cooking; using edible flowers, Claire creates dishes that affect the eater in curious ways. But not all Waverley women embrace their gifts; some, including Claire's mother, escape the family's eccentric reputation by running away."

Shallow Garden Thoughts:

• I'm very torn about today's book. I liked it - I wouldn't say I loved it, but at this stage in the blogging game, after having read about 200 really crappy books, liking something has become the equivalent of loving it. It's like my boring, gross allergy-free food, where gross = not bad, good = great, and great is . . . well that last one is mostly hypothetical. I liked the book, but it was also kind of odd.

• I should have learned by now to never judge a book by it's cover. But I rarely learn when it comes to this sort of thing. And so I started reading today's book with certain expectations. The cover makes it look like the kind of book a person would get totally swept up in and transported to a place where boring, mundane things are never discussed. Never would have I expected to read the book and come across references to Pop Tarts (which I think are one of the grossest foods ever, expect for the cookie dough flavor) and cell phones.

• Favorite sentence, "Like every person who had ever fallen in love, Tyler Hughes wondered what the hell was wrong with him." - Ahh, I love a blunt sentence - no dancing around the obvious, no talking around things, just right to the point.

P.S. - Suggestion Saturday will be suspended tomorrow. But be sure and join me tomorrow for a special blog entry in honor of my Mother's birthday.

My First Five Husbands

Today was day two of throwing out the reading "shoulds" and reading the way I would if I wasn't writing a blog. And it felt great. I feel energized - invigorated - and I'm so glad because I only have six weeks (which truly boggles my mind) left of this blogging project and I want to finish on a high note. So naturally, this meant reading my favorite genre, autobiography. And what better place to start than with the autobiography of an actress from one of my all-time favorite TV shows, The Golden Girls.

Today's book, "The youngest Golden Girls star offers a chatty, thoughtful and effervescent tour of her surprisingly turbulent professional and private life. Like her TV alter ego Blanche Devereaux, McClanahan charts her experiences through the men in her life. After much stage work, she found success in her late 30s on TV's Maude. Later, "languishing in Love Boat limbo," she was rescued by The Golden Girls, which brought her an Emmy and financial security. Fans will relish her sweet and tart memories of friendships and tensions filming that show. A breast cancer survivor, she ends the book happily celebrating an active career and a decade with husband number six."

Shallow thoughts:

• Well, first things first, I LOVED today's book. But I do feel I should include a disclaimer, I think a big part of the reason why I loved the book was because I am such a huge Golden Girls fan. So, if you are a loud and proud Golden Girls fan, or if you enjoy really blunt people (and you must or you wouldn't be reading my blog), then I think you will enjoy today's book as well. The one downside to it was that the first chapter sort of veered all over the place - but a long and rambling first chapter can have a certain charm to it, so I don't think it really detracted from the book too much.

• And then there is my favorite part of the book, when Rue uses the expression "dear readers." I cannot find the words to express how much I love it when books use that expression - which is the reason why I started using that in the first place. I instantly like a book better when the expression is used. Well, actually, I love any kind of acknowledgement of the readers from the author. It reminds me of those old movies from the 60s where the entire scene freezes except for one character who then begins talking directly to the audience. It's so corny, and yet I love it!

• Rue shares a story of how her Mother let her drink out of bottle so long that she was actually sent to the store to buy the rubber nipples for the bottles herself. I hate to act like the parenting police, but really? That seems a bit extreme. And it reminds me of my Dad's reaction to watching those diaper commercials that feature children singing about the diaper they're wearing. The reaction involves him hitting the mute button while bitterly saying, "If you're old enough to sing about your diaper, you're too old to be wearing one." He's so wise.

• I had a very hard time pacing myself while reading the book because I wanted to hurry up and get to the part of the book where Rue starts working on The Golden Girls. I was really tempted to skip ahead. Okay, I did skip ahead, but not to worry dear readers, I did go back later and read the pages I skipped. And I learned this fun fact about the show: Bea Arthur originally turned down the role of Dorothy. Say what? After reading that, I spent a few minutes trying to imagine what the show would have been like without her, but there are some places too dark to go to, and I just couldn't do it. I'm so glad she reconsidered.

Hershey

It's chapter and page count dear readers (can you handle this much excitement?) -

For the week:

CHAPTERS - 89

PAGES - 2,146

For the year:

CHAPTERS - 6,578

PAGES - 85,004

Today's book, "Hershey. The name means chocolate to America and the world, but, as Michael D'Antonio reveals, it also stands for an inspiring man and a uniquely successful experiment in community and capitalism that produced a business empire devoted to a higher purpose. One of the twentieth century's most eccentric and idealistic titans of industry, Milton S. Hershey brought affordable milk chocolate to America, creating and then satisfying the chocoholic urges of millions. He pioneered techniques of branding, mass production, and marketing and gained widespread fame as the Chocolate King."

Chocolatey thoughts:

• I made the same mistake while reading this book that I did when I read Chocolat, I started reading without having a chocolate supply on hand - very, very bad idea. Never read a book about chocolate without a chocolate supply in the house dear readers - it's a recipe for disaster. Other than the way the book taunted me with chocolate descriptions, it was a good book. It provided a fascinating glimpse into Milton Hershey's life and company, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who wants to spend a cozy day reading about one of life's greatest joys, chocolate.

• My favorite passage came rather early in the book, "And that's before he stops, gets out of the car, and realizes that the air in this Willy Wonka place smells like sweet cocoa. Hershey always smells like this. On a humid summer day when there is no breeze it's so strong you can taste it." - Chocolate air, what a miracle. I'm trying to think of anything that could be better than that, but no I can't seem to manage it.

• And here's your fun fact for the day dear readers (or not so fun fact as the case may be): President Zachary Taylor's death in 1850 was likely due to a bowl of cherries that contained bad milk. - So first let's stop and explore this cherries and milk concept. Cherries and milk? Really? This does not sound like an appetizing snack. And what a shame that it turned out to be President Taylor's last meal, I mean if you're going to die because of food is should at least be something good like chocolate cake. And now on to the more pressing question of, what on earth does any of that have to do with Milton Hershey. Well, dear readers, I'm not really sure either. The author draws some tenuous connection between that and the carmels that Mr. Hershey improved by adding milk to them, but it ended up feeling like a long and winding trip down a dirt road to nowhere - and because I don't believe in suffering alone, I decided to drag you all along for the ride as well. But, the one upside to this long and rambling paragraph is that the next time you are eating a carmel and feeling guilty about the high sugar content, just tell yourself, Milk has calcium in it. It's all about the calcium. I'm doing this for my health.

The Last Girls

Today I discovered something truly horrifying. My Mother forces every person that she comes in contact with to hear about my blog. That's right EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. I can't decide if I find this flattering or mortifying. Well actually I guess there's no reason why it can't be both. Today, as I stood and watched her tell the insurance salesman all about my blog, I had a childhood flashback to when she would carrying on for hours (to anyone who would stand still long enough to listen to it) about how much I love to read and I would stand there and feel totally mortified. And today I learned that I have not matured at all since I was eight, because I am still mortified when she does that. Although, there is that tiny little part of me that is actually capable of acting like a grown-up that finds it kind of nice that she's proud of my blog. So thanks for being proud of my blog Mom, but could you please dial the pride back a notch next time you're talking to a complete stranger. Thanks, Love you.

Today's book, "In the brisk and readable The Last Girls, acclaimed Southern writer Lee Smith reunites four college suitemates on a boat tour of the mighty Mississippi. Thirty-five years before, inspired by reading Twain's Huckleberry Finn in class (a detail not nearly revisited enough), the women floated down the same river on a manmade raft; now they are gathered at the request of their recently deceased ringleader's husband. The story unfolds through the eyes of each woman as the old friends weave college memories with their own dramas spanning the three decades since graduation."

Immature thoughts:

• It seems that I'm never going to learn my lesson when it comes to books about a group of women who have been friends for decades. I really, really want to like those kind of books and so, against all reason, I continue to read them despite the you've-read-one-you've-read-them-all feeling they all seem to have. Today's book was no exception - it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either and I ended up with that "Wait, didn't I already read this book?" feeling.

• I've forced myself to read a lot of books this year that I felt like I should like, but didn't. And I've avoided reading genres that I love because didn't want to overdo it. But, today I finally realized what a mistake that has been. A bored blogger does not make for really good blog entries, and the blog entries that I think were the best were written about my favorite kind of books. So tomorrow, I throw out my list of literary "shoulds" and go back to reading what I love. I'm excited, and feeling invigorated already.

• The one good thing about today's book is that they let us know one of the friends is going to die right off the bat - it's right there in the book description. It seems that the authors of these friendship books have all decided that the book is not complete without one of the friends ending up dead (usually from cancer, but today's book deviated from that particular formula.) The worst part of all is that the author seems to think the death is some kind of riveting twist that the reader is never going to see coming, when in reality I begin playing "Which Friend is Going to Die" when I'm only about three pages into the book. I appreciate the fact that the author lets us know right away who is going to die so I could focus more on the plot and not get distracted by my sick and morbid game.

P.S. My sister has challenged me to go a whole week without mentioned a certain TV show on the blog, which I cannot name without losing the challenge (but I'm sure you already know what it is) and today is day one of the challenge. I've only got 6 more blog entries to go.

Bright-Sided

Today I have a very busy day, so I decided to flake off a little bit with my goal to make it to 100,000 pages and read a shorter book.

Today's book, "Americans are a "positive" people - cheerful, optimistic, and upbeat: this is our reputation as well as our self-image. But more than a temperament, being positive is the key to getting success and prosperity. Or so we are told. Barbara Ehrenreich confronts the false promises of positive thinking, tracing it from its origins as a marginal nineteenth-century healing technique to its enshrinement as a dominant, almost mandatory, cultural attitude. With the myth-busting powers for which she is acclaimed, Ehrenreich exposes the downside of positive thinking: personal self-blame and national denial."

Pessimistic thoughts:

• I was very tempted to title this blog entry "In Praise of Bitterness," but then I thought better of it. But if anyone ever wrote a book with that title I would love to read it. Maybe I should write a book about that - and then I could follow it up with "In Praise of Shallowness."

• I picked today's book because I have read another book by the author - For Her Own Good - which was very interesting. I have a weird habit of reading that I really enjoy, and then never bothering to read any of the other books by that author. I guess it's partially because I have a hard time believing that I will like the second book as much as the first, and also because I am lazy. There I said it. I'm too lazy to go and look up the other books by that author and read them. But, I've decided to change that and give today's author a second try. And I'm so glad that I did, because I found today's book really interesting. I wouldn't say that it's a book I loved (and I didn't love her other book either) but it was fascinating in places.

• I had a bit of an obsession with self-help books as a child (I was so weird) so I was happy to see the author of today's book mention one of my personal favorites from that time, "The Power of Positive Thinking." According to that book, if you visualize it, it will come. I spent months trying to control other people's actions by visualizing them doing whatever I wanted them to do. I tried so hard to be the mental Puppet Master, but to no avail. The book did warn about using visualization for evil personal gain, but I figured there was nothing evil about trying to visualize my Mom letting me have that fourth Oreo, so what was the harm?

The Priceless Gift

SISTER SUNDAY

Are you feeling the joy and excitement of SISTER SUNDAY dear readers? Or are you a new reader and you have no idea what SISTER SUNDAY even is? For my dear readers, SISTER SUNDAY is when my sister, Alissa, peer pressures me into reading the kind of books that I would normally not read left to my own devices.

And, today she threw me a big blogging challenge in the form of a book that is out of print. So I was unable to find a picture of the book, or a description. So I had to settle for a picture of Woodrow Wilson and his wife Ellen Axson Wilson, whose love letters are the subject of today's book.

Before getting to my shallow thoughts for the day, it's time for my really shallow thought: The spine of today's book was upside down. So I spent the day looking like a four-year-old who was pretending to read. This amused me more than it should, because I'm simple when it comes to that sort of thing.

Now on to our regularly scheduled shallow thoughts:

• I started out really enjoying today's book. I got swept up into the letters, I contemplated reading more books about Woodrow Wilson, I talked about how if Woodrow and Ellen were alive today they would be on my mental list of celebrity couples that I would be upset if they ever broke up. And then my sister lowered the boom, and informed me that Woodrow cheated on his wife. To say that I was shocked and horrified would be an understatement. Alissa attempted to placate me by telling me that Ellen forgave Woodrow and they repaired their marriage. Well, Ellen may have forgiven Woodrow, but I haven't. I'm still, hours later, unable to look at his pictures without feeling extreme amounts of disgust (and normally I can't stay mad at anyone when I'm looking at a pictures of them.) I think I'm going to need some time before I can forgive him for his transgressions. Healing takes time.

• Favorite sentence, "It was considered most unladylike to show the least sign of interest until a young man proposed. . . " - So clearly Ellen was a Rules girl (I'm still irritated that The Rules remains the one book I can remember vividly from this year, by the way.) I'm very confused about these proposal rules - so a man just proposes to a woman with absolutely no idea whether she even cares about him in the first place. Sounds like a relaxing situation.

• Favorite passage, "He was only thirty-one, yet now he felt old, no longer able to capture the boyish high spirits that were a part of his nature, and very despondent about his future." - So basically I have 9 1/2 months left before my life is over. Why oh why do discussions about people my age - or close to it - being old amuse me so much? I just don't understand it.